Body Image and Sexuality

Genna Marie • February 16, 2025

Body Image and Sexuality: How Self-Perception Shapes Intimacy and Connection


Body image is deeply personal, yet it affects so much more than just how we see ourselves—it influences how we show up in relationships, how we experience intimacy, and even how we allow ourselves to be loved. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or navigating dating, struggles with body image can create barriers to emotional and physical connection. The way we feel about our bodies often dictates how much we let ourselves be seen, touched, and desired.



The Link Between Body Image and Desire


When you don’t feel good in your body, it’s hard to be fully present in intimacy. Self-conscious thoughts—Do I look okay? Will they notice this flaw? Am I attractive enough?—can pull you out of the moment, making it difficult to connect with a partner or even pursue a relationship in the first place.


Negative body image can cause

people to:

   • Avoid certain intimate experiences or         positions.

   • Hesitate to undress in front of a                     partner.

   • Feel disconnected from their own                 pleasure.

   • Seek constant validation yet struggle         to believe it.

   • Withdraw emotionally and physically           from their partner.


On the other hand, when someone feels comfortable in their body, they are often more confident, open, and willing to engage in intimacy without fear of judgment. But getting to that place isn’t always easy, especially in a culture that constantly tells us we need to look a certain way to be desirable.



How Body Image Affects Relationships


In relationships, body image struggles don’t just affect the individual—they impact both partners. When someone is uncomfortable in their own skin, it can create distance. They may turn down intimacy, resist compliments, or seem emotionally unavailable, leaving their partner feeling confused or rejected.


For those who are dating, body image struggles can lead to self-sabotage. Fear of being seen, touched, or judged can keep people from putting themselves out there, even if they crave connection. They might assume potential partners will only be interested in a certain type of body or worry that they won’t be enough as they are.



Reclaiming Confidence in Your Body and Intimacy


The good news? Your body does not have to change for you to have fulfilling intimacy and deep relationships. What needs to shift is how you relate to your body. Here’s how to start:


   1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself about your body. Would you talk to a friend that way? Probably not. Start replacing critical thoughts with ones that are at least neutral, if not kind. Instead of “I hate my stomach,” try “This is my body, and it carries me through life.”


   2. Reconnect with Your Body Through Sensory Experiences

Intimacy isn’t just about sex—it’s about feeling connected to your body. Try engaging in activities that make you feel good in your skin, whether that’s yoga, dancing, taking a bath, or wearing clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident.


   3. Communicate Openly with Your Partner (or Future Partners)

If you’re in a relationship, talk about how you’re feeling. Let your partner know if certain things make you uncomfortable, but also try to be open to their reassurances. If you’re dating, remind yourself that attraction is about more than just appearance—confidence, energy, and connection play a huge role.

   

4. Remember That Attraction Is Subjective

The idea that only one body type is desirable is a lie. People are attracted to confidence, energy, and the way you make them feel—not just how you look. The more you believe you are worthy of desire, the more others will too.


   5. Seek Connection Beyond Physical Appearance

Whether in a long-term relationship or dating, prioritize emotional intimacy alongside physical connection. When you build relationships based on trust, communication, and mutual appreciation, body image concerns hold less power.



Final Thoughts


Your worth is not tied to your appearance. Intimacy, love, and connection are not reserved for a specific body type. The way you feel about your body will influence your relationships, but it doesn’t have to define them. Whether you’re working on embracing yourself in a relationship or feeling confident enough to start dating, the key is self-compassion.


You are already enough. You are already worthy. And you deserve to experience love and intimacy in a way that makes you feel seen, valued, and cherished—just as you are.

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By Genna Marie • February 9, 2025
Taking Back Control: How to Stop Letting Others’ Moods and Comments Dictate Your Emotions Have you ever felt like someone’s bad mood or offhand comment ruined your entire day? Maybe a co-worker’s negativity left you drained, or a loved one’s criticism triggered self-doubt. It’s easy to absorb the emotions of those around us, but when we allow others to dictate how we feel, we give away our personal power. The truth is, while we can’t control what others say or do, we can control how we respond. I have used that message in every aspect of my personal and professional life for many years. Learning to reframe and react positively can protect our peace and help us stay grounded in our own emotional well-being. Why Do We Let Others Affect Us? We’re wired for connection, which means we naturally respond to the energy and emotions of those around us. This can be helpful in building empathy, but it becomes harmful when we internalize negativity or let external factors dictate our inner world. Common reasons we absorb others’ moods and comments: • Validation-seeking: We tie our worth to how others see us. • Conflict avoidance: We feel responsible for fixing their emotions. • Emotional sensitivity: We struggle to separate their feelings from our own. • People-pleasing tendencies: We take on others’ burdens to keep the peace. If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—it’s possible to shift this pattern and reclaim your emotional independence. How to Reframe and Respond Positively One of the things I focus on in my coaching is helping people reframe their thoughts and actions. People often think of this as simply “looking on the bright side,” but for me, reframing is about something deeper—it’s about recognizing what you need in a situation. It’s not just about positivity; it’s about clarity, boundaries, and self-protection. For example, sometimes setting a boundary for yourself might feel like you’re “giving in” or not standing your ground, but in reality, you’re choosing to protect your peace. Reframing allows you to see that stepping back isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. It’s about responding in a way that serves you, rather than reacting out of frustration, hurt, or obligation. Here’s how you can start practicing this in daily life: 1. Recognize What’s Yours and What’s Theirs When someone is upset, take a moment to ask yourself: • Is this my emotion, or am I absorbing theirs? • Is this comment about me, or is it a reflection of their own struggles? By identifying the source, you can avoid carrying emotional weight that doesn’t belong to you. 2. Pause Before Reacting Instead of immediately responding with frustration, self-doubt, or defensiveness, practice the pause : • Take a deep breath. • Remind yourself that their words or mood are not a reflection of your worth. • Respond with intention, not impulse. This simple practice can prevent knee-jerk reactions and help you maintain your composure. 3. Reframe Negative Comments When faced with criticism or negativity, try to reframe it: • Instead of: “Why are they being so rude to me?” Try: “They might be having a bad day, but that doesn’t mean I have to take it personally.” • Instead of: “I must have done something wrong.” Try: “Their reaction is about them, not me.” This shift helps you detach from their negativity and stay in control of your emotions. 4. Set Emotional Boundaries Protect your energy by setting limits: • If someone is constantly negative, limit your exposure or change the topic. • If a comment stings, remind yourself that you define your worth, not others. • If a conversation is escalating, politely disengage: “I hear you, but I need to step away from this for now.” Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about keeping yourself emotionally safe. 5. Shift Your Focus to What You Can Control You can’t control how others feel or what they say, but you can control: • Your response • Your self-talk • The energy you bring to a situation When negativity arises, ask yourself: “How do I want to feel today?” Then choose actions that align with that feeling. 6. Surround Yourself with Positive Reinforcement If you find yourself dwelling on someone’s words or mood, counteract it with positivity: • Listen to uplifting music or a motivational podcast. • Repeat affirmations like “I am in control of my emotions” or “I choose peace over reaction.” • Engage with people who bring positive energy into your life. By reinforcing positivity, you train your mind to stay resilient in the face of negativity. Final Thoughts: Reclaim Your Emotional Power Other people’s emotions and words don’t have to dictate your day. By recognizing what’s yours, pausing before reacting, reframing negativity, setting boundaries, and focusing on what you can control, you take back your power. In my coaching, I help people see that reframing isn’t about false positivity—it’s about finding clarity and making decisions that align with what you truly need. Sometimes that means standing firm, and other times it means stepping back for your own well-being. Neither is a sign of weakness. Both are a sign of emotional strength. You are not responsible for fixing others’ emotions, but you are responsible for protecting your own peace. The more you practice these shifts, the more you’ll find yourself responding with confidence, clarity, and calm—no matter what’s happening around you.

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Calculated Absence

By Genna Marie • January 5, 2025
The Power of Calculated Absence in Cultivating Intimacy Intimacy in relationships isn’t just about closeness—sometimes, it’s about space. It may seem counterintuitive, but creating intentional distance, or “calculated absence,” can deepen emotional and physical connections. This isn’t about playing games or testing your partner’s loyalty. Instead, it’s a mindful approach to nurturing individuality, rediscovering personal value, and fostering a more fulfilling connection in the relationship. What Is Calculated Absence? Calculated absence is the deliberate practice of taking time apart to focus on yourself, your passions, and your needs. It isn’t about neglect or detachment but about creating opportunities for self-growth and reflection. This space allows you to return to your partner more present, emotionally available, and invested. Think of it like a fire: too much closeness can smother the flame, but the right amount of air keeps it burning brightly. Why Absence Matters in Intimacy When we’re constantly enmeshed with our partners, we risk losing sight of our individuality. This can lead to resentment, stagnation, or even an erosion of attraction. By intentionally creating moments of absence, you allow for: 1. Reigniting Desire: Distance can spark longing and remind your partner of your uniqueness. It reignites the mystery and excitement often dulled by routine. 2. Rediscovering Yourself: Time alone lets you reconnect with your values, goals, and passions. This personal growth translates into a more enriched connection when you’re together. 3. Cultivating Appreciation : Absence creates room for gratitude. It reminds both partners not to take each other for granted, as the absence highlights the value of presence. How to Use Calculated Absence in Your Relationship 1. Communicate Clearly: Be transparent with your partner about your intentions. Explain that this is about self-growth and nurturing the relationship, not avoidance or withdrawal. 2. Set Intentions : Use the time to explore hobbies, connect with friends, or practice self-care. This isn’t about creating emotional distance but about investing in yourself. 3. Practice “The Pause” : When conflicts arise, stepping away briefly before responding can prevent reactive arguments and allow for a more thoughtful approach. 4. Reunite With Purpose : When you return to your partner, be intentional about reconnecting. Share what you learned or experienced during your time apart. Intimacy Beyond Closeness Intimacy isn’t about constant proximity; it’s about connection. By incorporating calculated absence into your relationship, you foster a sense of balance that allows both partners to thrive individually and together. In the end, calculated absence isn’t a sign of weakness or distance in your relationship—it’s a tool for growth, a practice in mindfulness, and an invitation to love deeper, not harder I understand that this might be a new concept for many, I wanted to include an example as to how I have incorporated the 'calculated absence' into my coaching. Client example "Mary" came to me feeling overwhelmed. She and her partner loved each other deeply, but she struggled with guilt anytime she needed space for herself. She believed that denying intimacy—even briefly—meant she was failing as a partner. “Isn’t a strong relationship about always being there for each other?” she asked. Mary's guilt had led her to suppress her own needs to keep the peace, but over time, she felt drained and disconnected. She worried that her feelings of exhaustion might push her partner away, creating a cycle she didn’t know how to break. In our sessions, I introduced the idea of calculated absence , explaining that intimacy doesn’t mean constant proximity. Rather, it thrives when both partners feel valued as individuals. I shared one of my favorite mottos: “Practice the pause.” I explained that just like in conversations, where a thoughtful pause can prevent reactive words, a pause in togetherness can be a moment of clarity, allowing space for deeper connection. At first, Mary was reluctant. She worried her partner might feel rejected or interpret her need for space as disinterest. But with guidance, she started small, carving out moments of intentional absence. She explained to her partner that her goal was to use this time to recharge so she could show up more present and engaged. To her surprise, her partner embraced the idea. He shared that he, too, had been craving moments to focus on himself but had been unsure how to express it without seeming distant. Mary began practicing the pause by setting aside time for herself each week. She used these moments to journal, take yoga classes, or sit quietly with her thoughts. What shifted wasn’t just her energy but her mindset. The guilt she once associated with needing space began to fade as she saw how this intentional time apart strengthened their connection. When she returned to her partner after these pauses, she felt lighter, more grounded, and emotionally available. Their intimacy no longer felt like a box to check—it became something organic and fulfilling. She shared with me that her partner admitted that the time to focus on himself had allowed him to feel more connected to her than ever before. Mary’s story is a powerful reminder that pausing isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. In relationships, creating space to honor your individuality isn’t denying intimacy; it’s nurturing it. *clients name was changed to respect privacy*
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