Ending a Relationship as a Young Adult

Genna Marie • January 19, 2025

Navigating the End of a Relationship as a

Young Adult and How to Offer Support


Ending a relationship as a young adult can feel overwhelming. Whether it was a long-term commitment or a short-lived connection, breakups often leave you grappling with questions about who you are and what comes next. While it’s natural to feel a sense of loss, this transition can also be an opportunity to grow, rediscover yourself, and lay the foundation for healthier relationships in the future.


Moving Forward in Positive Ways


1. Reclaim Your Identity: Breakups often leave a void, especially if the relationship became a big part of your identity. Now is the time to reconnect with your individual interests and passions. Dive into hobbies, spend time with supportive friends, or focus on personal goals that bring you joy. Example: You could feel lost after ending a relationship. Now that you might have more time for yourself maybe try something you’ve wanted to; attend a yoga class or join a local sport group, reconnecting with yourself could lead to finding new interest’s and meeting new people, the possibilities are endless.

2. Set New Intentions: Take this time to reflect on what you want for yourself. Whether it’s academic, career-related, or personal, setting goals helps create a sense of purpose and forward momentum. Example: perhaps the breakup can be seen as motivation to do the things that your relationship might have held you back from doing. Maybe taking a new job, or joining more clubs at your school. 

3. Foster Self-Compassion: It’s easy to feel guilt, doubt, or even failure after a breakup. Be kind to yourself and remember that ending a relationship isn’t a failure—it’s an act of self-care. Journaling, reflecting, or talking with someone you trust can help you process these emotions. Example: if someone is struggling with self-blame after a breakup, working with myself or another coach can help shift their mindset and recognize that the decision to end the relationship was necessary for their growth.


How a Life & Relationship Coach Can Help


A relationship and intimacy coach, like myself, can be a valuable resource during this transitional time. We provide a safe space to explore your emotions, unpack what worked and didn’t in your relationship, and help you gain clarity about what you want moving forward.


Coaches can also guide you in:

  • Rebuilding confidence in yourself and your ability to form healthy connections.
  • Identifying patterns in your relationships and breaking those that no longer serve you.
  • Learning how to set boundaries and communicate your needs in future relationships. Coaching is forward-focused, helping you not only process the breakup but also move into the next phase of your life with renewed confidence and self-awareness.



How Friends, Family, and Peers Can Offer Support


For those supporting a young adult through a breakup, your response can make all the difference. Here are a few ways to be there for them:

1. Listen Without Judgment: Validate their feelings without minimizing them. Avoid comments like, “You’re young; you’ll get over it.” Instead, acknowledge their emotions and offer a listening ear. Example: If someone confides in you as a friend, about their breakup, simply say, “That sounds really hard. I’m here if you need to talk.” This reassurance can make the person feel validated and supported. 

2. Be Present Without Pushing Sometimes they might want to vent, while other times they might just need distraction. Offer to do things together like taking a walk, watching a movie, or trying a new activity. 

3. Encourage Their Growth. Gently remind them of their strengths and encourage them to focus on their goals and interests. Help them see this as a chance to grow rather than a setback.

4. Don’t make their Ex the villain Even if you disliked their partner, avoid badmouthing them. Instead, focus on helping them process the relationship in a healthy was. 

5. Respect Their Healing Process Healing looks different for everyone. Be patient and allow them to move forward at their own pace. Example: An adult might say, “I know this is tough, but I’m proud of how you’re handling it. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”


Moving On with Support and Strength


The end of a relationship may feel like a loss, but it’s also a chance for young adults to grow, redefine their identity, and build a stronger foundation for future relationships. With the support of friends, family, and even a relationship coach, this difficult chapter can transform into a powerful period of self-discovery and renewal.


As you move forward, remember that you don’t have to navigate this alone. Lean on those who lift you up, and trust that brighter days are ahead. As always I can support you in a safe and confidential space.

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By Genna Marie • February 9, 2025
Taking Back Control: How to Stop Letting Others’ Moods and Comments Dictate Your Emotions Have you ever felt like someone’s bad mood or offhand comment ruined your entire day? Maybe a co-worker’s negativity left you drained, or a loved one’s criticism triggered self-doubt. It’s easy to absorb the emotions of those around us, but when we allow others to dictate how we feel, we give away our personal power. The truth is, while we can’t control what others say or do, we can control how we respond. I have used that message in every aspect of my personal and professional life for many years. Learning to reframe and react positively can protect our peace and help us stay grounded in our own emotional well-being. Why Do We Let Others Affect Us? We’re wired for connection, which means we naturally respond to the energy and emotions of those around us. This can be helpful in building empathy, but it becomes harmful when we internalize negativity or let external factors dictate our inner world. Common reasons we absorb others’ moods and comments: • Validation-seeking: We tie our worth to how others see us. • Conflict avoidance: We feel responsible for fixing their emotions. • Emotional sensitivity: We struggle to separate their feelings from our own. • People-pleasing tendencies: We take on others’ burdens to keep the peace. If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—it’s possible to shift this pattern and reclaim your emotional independence. How to Reframe and Respond Positively One of the things I focus on in my coaching is helping people reframe their thoughts and actions. People often think of this as simply “looking on the bright side,” but for me, reframing is about something deeper—it’s about recognizing what you need in a situation. It’s not just about positivity; it’s about clarity, boundaries, and self-protection. For example, sometimes setting a boundary for yourself might feel like you’re “giving in” or not standing your ground, but in reality, you’re choosing to protect your peace. Reframing allows you to see that stepping back isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. It’s about responding in a way that serves you, rather than reacting out of frustration, hurt, or obligation. Here’s how you can start practicing this in daily life: 1. Recognize What’s Yours and What’s Theirs When someone is upset, take a moment to ask yourself: • Is this my emotion, or am I absorbing theirs? • Is this comment about me, or is it a reflection of their own struggles? By identifying the source, you can avoid carrying emotional weight that doesn’t belong to you. 2. Pause Before Reacting Instead of immediately responding with frustration, self-doubt, or defensiveness, practice the pause : • Take a deep breath. • Remind yourself that their words or mood are not a reflection of your worth. • Respond with intention, not impulse. This simple practice can prevent knee-jerk reactions and help you maintain your composure. 3. Reframe Negative Comments When faced with criticism or negativity, try to reframe it: • Instead of: “Why are they being so rude to me?” Try: “They might be having a bad day, but that doesn’t mean I have to take it personally.” • Instead of: “I must have done something wrong.” Try: “Their reaction is about them, not me.” This shift helps you detach from their negativity and stay in control of your emotions. 4. Set Emotional Boundaries Protect your energy by setting limits: • If someone is constantly negative, limit your exposure or change the topic. • If a comment stings, remind yourself that you define your worth, not others. • If a conversation is escalating, politely disengage: “I hear you, but I need to step away from this for now.” Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about keeping yourself emotionally safe. 5. Shift Your Focus to What You Can Control You can’t control how others feel or what they say, but you can control: • Your response • Your self-talk • The energy you bring to a situation When negativity arises, ask yourself: “How do I want to feel today?” Then choose actions that align with that feeling. 6. Surround Yourself with Positive Reinforcement If you find yourself dwelling on someone’s words or mood, counteract it with positivity: • Listen to uplifting music or a motivational podcast. • Repeat affirmations like “I am in control of my emotions” or “I choose peace over reaction.” • Engage with people who bring positive energy into your life. By reinforcing positivity, you train your mind to stay resilient in the face of negativity. Final Thoughts: Reclaim Your Emotional Power Other people’s emotions and words don’t have to dictate your day. By recognizing what’s yours, pausing before reacting, reframing negativity, setting boundaries, and focusing on what you can control, you take back your power. In my coaching, I help people see that reframing isn’t about false positivity—it’s about finding clarity and making decisions that align with what you truly need. Sometimes that means standing firm, and other times it means stepping back for your own well-being. Neither is a sign of weakness. Both are a sign of emotional strength. You are not responsible for fixing others’ emotions, but you are responsible for protecting your own peace. The more you practice these shifts, the more you’ll find yourself responding with confidence, clarity, and calm—no matter what’s happening around you.

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Calculated Absence

By Genna Marie • January 5, 2025
The Power of Calculated Absence in Cultivating Intimacy Intimacy in relationships isn’t just about closeness—sometimes, it’s about space. It may seem counterintuitive, but creating intentional distance, or “calculated absence,” can deepen emotional and physical connections. This isn’t about playing games or testing your partner’s loyalty. Instead, it’s a mindful approach to nurturing individuality, rediscovering personal value, and fostering a more fulfilling connection in the relationship. What Is Calculated Absence? Calculated absence is the deliberate practice of taking time apart to focus on yourself, your passions, and your needs. It isn’t about neglect or detachment but about creating opportunities for self-growth and reflection. This space allows you to return to your partner more present, emotionally available, and invested. Think of it like a fire: too much closeness can smother the flame, but the right amount of air keeps it burning brightly. Why Absence Matters in Intimacy When we’re constantly enmeshed with our partners, we risk losing sight of our individuality. This can lead to resentment, stagnation, or even an erosion of attraction. By intentionally creating moments of absence, you allow for: 1. Reigniting Desire: Distance can spark longing and remind your partner of your uniqueness. It reignites the mystery and excitement often dulled by routine. 2. Rediscovering Yourself: Time alone lets you reconnect with your values, goals, and passions. This personal growth translates into a more enriched connection when you’re together. 3. Cultivating Appreciation : Absence creates room for gratitude. It reminds both partners not to take each other for granted, as the absence highlights the value of presence. How to Use Calculated Absence in Your Relationship 1. Communicate Clearly: Be transparent with your partner about your intentions. Explain that this is about self-growth and nurturing the relationship, not avoidance or withdrawal. 2. Set Intentions : Use the time to explore hobbies, connect with friends, or practice self-care. This isn’t about creating emotional distance but about investing in yourself. 3. Practice “The Pause” : When conflicts arise, stepping away briefly before responding can prevent reactive arguments and allow for a more thoughtful approach. 4. Reunite With Purpose : When you return to your partner, be intentional about reconnecting. Share what you learned or experienced during your time apart. Intimacy Beyond Closeness Intimacy isn’t about constant proximity; it’s about connection. By incorporating calculated absence into your relationship, you foster a sense of balance that allows both partners to thrive individually and together. In the end, calculated absence isn’t a sign of weakness or distance in your relationship—it’s a tool for growth, a practice in mindfulness, and an invitation to love deeper, not harder I understand that this might be a new concept for many, I wanted to include an example as to how I have incorporated the 'calculated absence' into my coaching. Client example "Mary" came to me feeling overwhelmed. She and her partner loved each other deeply, but she struggled with guilt anytime she needed space for herself. She believed that denying intimacy—even briefly—meant she was failing as a partner. “Isn’t a strong relationship about always being there for each other?” she asked. Mary's guilt had led her to suppress her own needs to keep the peace, but over time, she felt drained and disconnected. She worried that her feelings of exhaustion might push her partner away, creating a cycle she didn’t know how to break. In our sessions, I introduced the idea of calculated absence , explaining that intimacy doesn’t mean constant proximity. Rather, it thrives when both partners feel valued as individuals. I shared one of my favorite mottos: “Practice the pause.” I explained that just like in conversations, where a thoughtful pause can prevent reactive words, a pause in togetherness can be a moment of clarity, allowing space for deeper connection. At first, Mary was reluctant. She worried her partner might feel rejected or interpret her need for space as disinterest. But with guidance, she started small, carving out moments of intentional absence. She explained to her partner that her goal was to use this time to recharge so she could show up more present and engaged. To her surprise, her partner embraced the idea. He shared that he, too, had been craving moments to focus on himself but had been unsure how to express it without seeming distant. Mary began practicing the pause by setting aside time for herself each week. She used these moments to journal, take yoga classes, or sit quietly with her thoughts. What shifted wasn’t just her energy but her mindset. The guilt she once associated with needing space began to fade as she saw how this intentional time apart strengthened their connection. When she returned to her partner after these pauses, she felt lighter, more grounded, and emotionally available. Their intimacy no longer felt like a box to check—it became something organic and fulfilling. She shared with me that her partner admitted that the time to focus on himself had allowed him to feel more connected to her than ever before. Mary’s story is a powerful reminder that pausing isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. In relationships, creating space to honor your individuality isn’t denying intimacy; it’s nurturing it. *clients name was changed to respect privacy*
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